Thursday, April 24, 2008

12th Post: 12 Things I learned in PA school

Now that PA school has come to a close, here are just a dozen of the many things that I learned these past three years...other than all that medical stuff. So, in no particular order...

12. Everyone needs a Crazy Hat Day to offset the monotony and stress of school.

11. "Herpes, like true love, lasts forever." -Dr. Holtom

10. Provigil is great stuff, especially for the OB Labor and Delivery night shift.

9. Sleep and sunlight are things not to be taken for granted.

8. Trail mix brings people together.

7. I will always need a creative outlet, I think that is how I discovered my talent for rapping.

6. USC football is truly amazing.

5. Dim sum is a pretty interesting experience, especially when you have the real stuff in Alhambra.

4. The last patient of the day in pregnancy clinic will be a new patient on her double-digit number pregnancy (example: This is her 13th pregnancy, and I would need to take down the pregnancy/birth history of her previous 12 pregnancies -- yes, a bit time-consuming).

3. A STD (sexually transmitted disease) is almost always a differential diagnosis.

2. People's wisdom (especially the lack thereof) will never cease to amaze me.

1. The ability to keep a straight face is a divine gift.

4 comments:

Mitchell3 said...

Your posts are always too funny. K I wish that I had that devine gift.

You are going to be known as the crazy hat lady. I'm glad that some people actually got into it.

I might need you to come up with a rap for B's 1st Birthday and perform at the party. He won't remember it but we'll get it on video. It'll be priceless.

If the whole PA thing is not what you thought it to be you could always go into making jingles for commercials. Yes Ladies and Gents My Sis is that talented.

StreakdaCat said...

Meow! Get off computer and rub my belly!!

Nilla said...

Okay, I'm thinking you've seen/experienced some interesting stuff in the OB/GYN department...

Anonymous said...

J-net,

I swear by sunny Jesus (very serious for we Jews)that I had to use that same, acquired power of bubble-control to halt micturation while freezing my facial features yesterday.

The Scenario:
A citizen of the USA went to Guadelejara for medical school. He completed his studies and graduated last year (maybe year before?) and began an "advanced internship" at the clinic within which I am currently working about two weeks ago. He is very friendly and claims to be fluently-fluent in spanish. But he is not. Mi espanol horrible esta mejor que su.

"R" is happy-go-lucky and though nobody has said anything in preparation, his intellect and social miscues have convinced most of us (staff, students, providers, patients) that R is quite possibly the best, well-functioning asperger's patient I ever hope to see. On the other hand, this normal-looking, normal-speaking, post-graduate, peri-student continues to ruffle staff and patient feathers as he takes anywhere from 12 minutes(at the minimum) to 35 minutes (at most so far) to read the patient file cover to cover before ever seeing the patient in the flesh, nor finding out why the patient is there. But wait, there's more. R knows that he is there to learn and as such has decided that the best way to go about this is to take notes on self-decided (not always what other professionals would call )pertinent findings in a notebook. The fun does not stop there. Since he is there to learn as much as possible, he then writes down every medication the patient has ever taken. R then looks up, in a pocket-book, every single ADR and SE of every Rx. the the patient has ever taken and promptly writes then down in aforementioned notebook. This is R. The above is the setting, as the described behavior is a repeat performance over the last two weeks for each patient he sees.

The Story:
Our story begins with R coming to me and saying hello for the third time of the day. (Saying hello as if he forgot having said hello before then, but knowing full well that he has....several times.) I was busy playing "what is wrong with 4 of 15 computers in this office?" and did not show too much interest in conversation. Sensing this, he sought to plague the student medical assistant, who was busying herself with actually reading medical journals. He plodded over to her and said, "hello Erica." (probably not for the first time that day.) He proceeded to ask her what type of student she was. After hearing that she was a medical assistant student,

R- When are you done?
MA-s- In two weeks.
r- Ohh, and then you go for your nursing boards?
m- No, then I am done.
r- And then you are a nurse? What kind?
m- No, then I am a medical assistant
r- Right. So did you have to have a bachelor's degree to go to nursing school?
m- no, I finished high school.
R- Ohh. you said that huh?
m- Yup.
r- I guess that makes sense. You look really young.
m- Ohh, (pleasantly said) that's real nice of you. How old do I look.
r- I don't know, maybe 13 years old or so.
m- (flabberghasted) 13. You think I look 13 years old?
r- (second-guessing himself now) Wait, you can't be 13, you finished high school. Well, maybe you took the GED or something?
M- (looking over at me and pleading for help and attempting to keep from wetting her pants in laughter) You must be kidding right?!
r- Yeah. I was just kidding. (obviously not kidding.)

Thank you lords of the bubble from maintaining my face and allowing me incredible bladder control. I owe you.

-J