This was a first...

It happened. It was only a moment, but I cannot take back a thought. I could have quickly replaced this thought with a song, a recent joke, name off cardio drugs, or recite the alphabet... but I didn't. It was out of frustration and impatience that this thought was born from. It was this:
"Why did today have to be a national holiday?"
Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against MLK Day and I have NEVER once in my life took a holiday for granted. True, the post office would be closed and I could not mail off my bills as soon as I wanted to meet their deadlines. And the library was closed, so I had to go 36 hours without internet access. But it was when I thought another day would go by without hearing any progress from potential employers. The answer to whether I would be offered a certain job or not (the same job that I have gone through a 5 week+ application/wait/interview/wait/call to check on status/and wait another week). And there were those last (I really mean last) resumes that I sent out on Friday that I know would have no hope of being looked over until at least Tuesday. More waiting... I could also add the fact that some people may be in a post-innauguration day daze and may even find today to be an extended holiday and an excuse to not get anything done. Blast.

After this silent, mental rant I went on with my less-than productive day...

There must be some kind of penance for having a vile thought as this... I know it will come in the future when I do actually have to work a holiday. Forgive me, all ye employed readers who would give their left kidney for a day off!

Hmmm....maybe not...

One of my biggest obstacles I have had in my job search is my lack of experience. If I had one or two years of experience, I would be hired by now, no doubt. I have been paying close attention to jobs that do offer training and are accepting new grads. Those words are music to my ears and an Ansel Adams landscape to my eyes. Most of these jobs have been in orthopedics and pain management, but I did come across one tonight that made me crack up. I told my mother that since it was in Florida, I could still probably use my Spanish skills. She said it is not worth the 6-digit cost of PA school. Here it is:

"Are you a recent graduate (::cue visual euphoria::) and eager to work in the aesthetic field? Are you a seasoned PA who is interested in more independence at work without a Doctor’s constant supervision? If so, then Body Details is the place for you. Body Details is the largest provider of laser hair & tattoo removal services in South Florida and the Official Laser Hair Removal Center of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. Body Details was named “THE place to get rid of unwanted body art and body hair” by Deco Drive. (Oh, the prestige!!) The laser hair and tattoo removal industry is growing rapidly. Come and join the experts. Contact us about starting your new and exciting career today. We are seeking interested PA’s to fill open positions to cater to our increasing client demand. Full training is provided, no experience necessary."

On a positive note, I am going to check out a job position on Monday. I'm not sure if I'll accept the job if I am offered it, I still have some questions and concerns. Nevertheless, it still is some progress. All I want for Christmas is a job...a job...

Still Waiting...

I had made the goal that by the end of this week I would know where my life would be going. All of my decisions will have been made. I would know whether I would stay in California or Washington or maybe some other random place. I would know if I would be doing family medicine, urgent care, or pediatrics. But that hasn't happen. My state of unemployment limbo continues... I am waiting to hear back from 3 clinics for possible interviews -- and I have called them, but it's more like 'Don't call us, we'll call you'. There's the fourth job that I did interview at and still have uncertain feelings over. I feel like the single girl (wait, that's me!) who's waiting for the call back after a first date.
::Begin rant:: "Why won't he call??" Are they "just not that into me?" (inside joke, that's for another post). I deserve a phone call, darn it, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me! ::end rant::

I try not to wait too much sitting around and waiting and use my time constructively. This week I played charades, caroled at a rehab center (not the drug kind), frosted a couple cookies, tried to keep warm without turning on the heat, paid a few bills, sent off a Christmas package, tried swing dancing for the first time at a college hangout, and checked out a couple of books at the library. But still no calls, other than the occasional one from my mom trying to get an update. I'm not sure with the holidays that I will be finding out much either, although I know some of the places will still be open. I remember being originally scheduled to have the 24th off because I told the office manager I would rather have my birthday off and keep up with tradition than taking the day after Thanksgiving off. I guess I could enjoy my "extended" Christmas vacation.

Stay tuned.

Do I really want to go back to my "roots"?

I don't think so. As much as I loved going to Scandinavia this summer and exploring the lands of my ancestry, I don't think some of the other locations significant to personal and family history would have the same appeal as potential work locations. Today I noticed there was a job opening in El Centro, CA (where I was born) and there were quite a few openings in Rapid City, South Dakota (where my maternal grandparents were from). I figure there was a reason why they moved to Los Angeles and never moved back. I was emailed another job opportunity at an ortho clinic one hour from Sioux Falls. It's weird to think of Sioux Falls, SD as "the city."

Job search update: Still waiting to hear back from a couple clinics here in CA. Still not sure what to think of the one I interviewed at in Santa Ana. She said she would get back to me in the next week or two. Just found one in the Riverside area this past weekend and I emailed my resume yesterday. Not quite sure if I'll check Washington out this week due to the weather. I have to make a decision very, very soon.

Stay tuned!

I Do Need A Little Christmas...

This was my thought as I was listening to the Christmas music at Food 4 Less last week. It's kind of weird how much I haven't thought about Christmas this year. It's very unusual for myself, especially since I'm a Christmas Eve baby and "Feliz Navidad" being piped into the nursery at El Centro Community Hospital was probably one of the first sounds I heard. Alas, this year is different. I have failed in my delegated duty of organizing the family gift-giving. I've listend to the 24 hour Christmas station only a few times on Sundays. My mother is still awaiting my list of Christmas/birthday wants and needs. Is "smog check" an appropriate Christmas gift? My car is due for one so I can renew the registration. The idea of shopping has been dreadful, and not just because of the crowds. I have watched "It's a Wonderful Life" only once this year, ::gasp!!:: I have been a bit distracted. The rollercoaster of job searching and interviews. The bills. A computer virus to add to my frustrations. The decisions that I have to make by the end of the month. It's all been a bit emotionally and mentally draining.
To remedy this festive anemia, I decided to go to the annual nativity and music festival in Upland last week. It was fabulous as usual, and great to see familiar faces. Some faces were less familiar as some of the kids I remembered being 4 years old were now teenagers. It was nice to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. The celebration of the Savior, making his humble entrance into the world that He would save.
On another good note, this year does seem better than then years past for the fact that I don't have to worry about finishing my research paper on Christmas. I don't have to worry about final exams or CASPA deadlines or PA interviews. I can enjoy the fact that I'm not currently surrounded by sick people who would later cause me to spend the majority of my holiday shopping budget on antibiotics and co-pays.
So, maybe I could put more Christmas in my life. I am open to service opportunities and suggestions, let me know! If you need some cranberry sauce for your Christmas dinner, I would be thrilled to make you some. My offer on an "It's a Wonderful Life" movie night still stands as well. And for now, I can admire the little Christmas tree in the local public library just as I am doing right now or the large tree of lights at CBU visible from my bedroom window. Good thing I have blinds.

Typo

For the record: Not long ago my mother pointed out a typo in a previous blog. I have changed it since then, but it had not been caught for a while. The opening sentence was meant to be, "Job hunting can be a bit monotonous..." It was pointed out that I had typed, "Jon hunting...". For those readers who have been wondering, my financial situation has not become as grim to force me into soliciting myself to Jons (or Johns) for money. I will not be found strolling the streets at night wearing a mini-skirt and fishnet stockings, hunting for Jons. That is one job I am not applying for. Sorry Jons.

For those who were wondering...

Here's an update on my current job status...

Pediatrics job in Santa Ana: Group just posted their ad yesterday, I sent in my CV, job interview on Monday!! Downside: lots of driving...

Loma Linda: I was turned down for an interview for not having enough experience, which I was expecting anyways. I figured when they said "preferred" that would still give me a green light and I didn't have anything to lose.

Montclair: Family practice and derm, just found out from Mom today. Haven't heard back yet. Doctor is looking for a long-term partner I believe, especially one wanting more of the business responsibility, so....not quite sure how to feel on that one...

Washington (rural) pediatrics clinic: Still in the back of my mind. I figure if I don't have a successful interview next week, I may take a roadtrip later this month for an interview. Benefits do look nice, and it's pediatrics in a high-spanish area, we'll see...

There may be some other random job issues coming up in the next couple weeks. Stay tuned,

I could feel the breeze in their hair...what??

Job hunting can be a bit monotonous. Some people do try to add an informal touch or advertise "community features" to encourage relocation. These are a few actual statements that I have come across in job listings:


For a job in Oklahoma: "Saddle up and lets get started."

Washington: "If you are tired of a big city we can help. If you are looking for an outdoor oriented lifestyle we can really help."

And this one is my favorite...
For a job in Nebraska: "Buffalo used to roam this land in the famous frontier days. If you listen closely in the quiet of the night you can still hear the settlers wagons cutting new ground and feel the breeze in their hair."

I'm on the hunt. Release the hounds!!

I've been asked quite a few times today how my job hunting was going. I have sent my resume out to a few places. The lack of local jobs that I could apply for (especially since I don't have a lot of experience yet) has been a bit discouraging. I'm still looking...

After I tried to apply for a local position, I found out that I had uploaded my resume on a health career national database. Needless to say I have been receiving emails and calls from place like Bullhead City, Arizona and other places across the country.

Here was a conversation I had yesterday (yes, Saturday) morning.
Me: Hello?
Caller (very thick accent): Hello Janet (my name is pronounced this way quite frequently), my name is So-n'so from ::something incomprehensible, I thought I heard the name 'Pomona':: and Dr. So-n'so saw your resume and was wondering if you can come in for an interview next week.
::cue small earthquake - this really did happen and I was distracted for a moment::
Me: Sure, I'm pretty open. How about Tuesday at 2:00?
Caller: Okay, that's fine. Our clinic location is 380 Fremont. Will you be coming by car or bus?
Me: By car. What city is your clinic located again? (thinking it might be closer to Alhambra)
Caller: Da' Bronx. So you will be coming from the west?
Me: The east. I'm sorry, what city was that again?
Caller: Da' Bronx... ::moment of silence::...Oooooooohhhh, I'm sorry, I thought you were in Riverside, New York! Soooo... you probably won't be able to make it this Tuesday?
Me: I don't think that will happen.
Caller: Have you ever thought about working on the east coast?
Me: Um, how about you send me some information on the clinic and position and I'll get back to you.
Caller: Information? What do you mean?
Me: (Thinking, is she really asking me this?) Oh, things like, specialty, expectations, hours, benefits...
Caller: Oh, okay thank you!

Not all of the jobs I have seen have been weird. I did come across a good job at a rural pediatrics clinic in another state. There is even a lower cost of living and I would get paid extra just for being able to speak Spanish. To me, especially if it was a year or two ago, this seems like I would be living the dream! Before I started PA school and through most of my time in it I had thought about going into rural medicine in a high spanish-speaking population. Adding the factor that it's a pediatrics clinic sweetens the deal as I have considered that is the area I want to stay in for my career. But I am not sure if now is the right time to live that dream. Since the time I graduated, I have learned that timing is an essential factor in my career development. I recognized it first when I interviewed for a sub specialty position for my first job. While I had envisioned that type of job as an ultimate goal, it does not mean that it was the right job for me right now. I was even relieved when I was not offered the job after my interview. I am not sure if this current job offer has that similar lesson for me. I just know that right now I reeeeally want to stay in Southern California. This is where I have my roots. This is where I have grown up and lived with such a great support system. While I am a pretty independent person and can enjoy some solitude and I don't have a problem living alone, I still have a need for frequent social contact outside of work. Would a job in a rural area impede such peer interaction? There are so many things to consider right now and I must admit that I am getting a little less patient by the day and more stressed about financial obligations and the uncertainty of the whole situation. I am comforted by the fact that any decision I make will be used toward my good. I just have to keep relying on that fact. If I do have to cut my losses and find a better in situation in another city or state, then, as the Beatles would say, "let it be." We'll see what happens. Stay tuned.

One week later...

It's been a full week since I've joined the ranks of the unemployed. Things are going better. No job prospects yet, but I am getting things organized, working on updating my BLS/ACLS certifications and resume, and making the most out of my time.
Here are a few things that did put a smile on my face this past week:
*I went jogging yesterday (it's been a very long time) and I discovered a lovely, quiet avenue that is lined with willows and orange groves as well as rose bushes on the median. It's been my highlight of Riverside so far.
*A friend bought me a super delicious cinnamon bagel with hazelnut cream cheese. It was reeeeaaaly good.
*I also was treated to a wonderful lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Anchos, very delicious.
* A fantastic Halloween party with lots of familiar faces and some new faces as well. And lots of candy.
*More cute nephew pictures on my sister's blog.
*Stopped by a health fair hosted by a local church. There were a lot of volunteers so my help wasn't needed much, but my Spanish did come in handy when I told a man that he had to ge to the doctor ASAP because his blood sugar was super high.
* I did finish watching the first season of "Flight of the Conchords."
*I Reviewed a research paper for a friend, anything to help. I'm still open for service opportunities, just let me know.
*I saved $2.75 with coupons yesterday, which means I can get almost a gallon of gas. Gas being below $3 is enough to put a smile on anyone's face.

The Scythe Has Fallen...

The Scythe of the Grim Reaper of Unemployment, that is... Yes, my job is the latest casualty of the healthcare crisis. It was quite an unexpected blow to me. As I was clocking out for the day on Monday, my supervising physician pulls me aside and explains that due to current financial issues (less private-insurance patients, lack of reimbursement from Medicaid patients) the clinic could no longer afford to keep me. The news floored me. I was unemployed as of that very evening.

My emotions are still a bit raw. It is mainly the grief of loss, the unexpected shock, the stress of meeting my financial obligations (I have two loan payments due in a couple of weeks, and seven months left of my lease) and the sudden disruption of a life that had been progressing very smoothly. Today I reflected on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of death/dying/loss and noted that I had a short moment of denial (the "is this just a bad dream?" thought I had on Monday night), and now passing through the sadness stage and gradually easing into acceptance with the whole thing. I have tried to self-medicate by watching the first season of "Flight of the Conchords." I really could use a laugh. And maybe some chocolate milk... Nevertheless, I feel no anger, no bitterness,* or need to "bargain." The grief is still real, and I have had shed more tears the past couple days than I would like to admit, but I want to arouse my optimistic nature as well. Things will work out. I don't want this to be mistaken as a false happiness to suppress discouragement, but it is as the adage says, "Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." I also reflected recently on a saying that Joseph B. Wirthlin said, quoting his mother, "Come what may, and love it." So, am I going to love being unemployed? Well, I may not like its effects and stresses, but I can still find joy in today. I have more opportunities waiting for me. More free time, that hopefully I will be able to put to good use including serving others. Anyone need help moving out? Some cookies or empanadas made? Or, hey, maybe I could even go out on a date on a weeknight! (Okay that last one might be a little too optimistic, haha!). My mother suggested a possible visit to see Cutest Nephew Ever I and II. Very tempting, I have to see how the remaining finances** go when I figure them out. I haven't come across too many jobs yet, especially since I may be commuting from Riverside for a while. There's an opening in Thermal (near Coachella/Indio), CA. Like I said, I haven't come across too many openings yet. We'll see what happens.

* I initially felt no anger of bitterness, but I later realized that the way that I was laid off was, as my mother puts it, "despicable" and was very unprofessional. It was an insult to me and to the physician assistant profession. I am not one gets angry very often, but I will say that this issue left me very, very disappointed.

** I have also decided that applying for unemployment is not a bad thing, especially since 1/3 of my paycheck (even my final paycheck) goes to the government anyway.