Tuesday, July 8, 2008

For The Fans: Eyes Eyes Baby

During my PA-school years I discovered a talent for rapping and writing medical-related song parodies. I guess I could be described as a female, medical version of Weird Al Yankovic. Weird Al has been an inspiration to me for many years (in fact, the first CD I ever bought was his "Alapalooza") and I did enjoy some late nights listening to the Dr. Demento show back in the day. Despite time constraints with my busy student schedule, I realized that I still needed a creative outlet. Due to my extreme right-brain-ness and occasional boredom, I started organizing the information I was studying into rhymes and rhythms. This was taking mnemonics to the next level. It started with "G6PD-yeah you know me... G6PD with my Heinz body..." to the iron deficiency rap to a parody of Dave Matthews Band "Crash into me" called "Don't crash on me." and another take on the Fray's "How to Save a Life." I soon received the nickname "Rapper J" and a few others from my classmates and coworkers. One of the class favorites was "Eyes,Eyes, Bab," which is to the tune of "Ice, Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. I did my first public performance of it at a church talent show last month and was fortunate to have some beat-boxing back up. I added a few more lyrics since its original circulation . Enjoy!

"Eyes Eyes Baby"
Yo PA-C lets kick it!
Eyes, Eyes Baby... Check out those eyes, eyes, baby...
Okay stop, grab your scope and listen,
My eye is red and it has some itchin'.
What's this stuff in my eye it's kinda goopy,
When I look around now everything's real loopy.
Quick to the doc, to the doc we're running fast as we can cuz my vision is blurrin'.
PA on the scene, you know what I mean,
Asking all those questions now everything is coming clean.
If you got a problem, yo I'll solve it:
Fill out these forms and we'll talk in a minute.
Eyes, eyes, baby... Check out those eyes, eyes, baby...
First things first is check acuity;
20/20 vision is not my ability.
Holy hordeolum! What's that stye I got on my eye?
Could it be chalazion -inflammation of the gland meibomian?
Reddish or grayish and it's enlargin' on the lid margin.
Eyes, eyes, baby...
Encroachin' on the cornea: possibly ptyergium but not pinguecula.
If it's hammer time - better wear safety glasses,
Cover yo' globes and lids and eyelashes.
If your blood pressure's high, I shouldn't fail to mention -
Papilledema is a sign of malignant hypertension.
Diabetes - is the leading cause of new blindness.
I'm running out of lyrics so I appreciate your kindness.
If you have a problem, yo I'll solve it,
Check out this brochure and this drug will resolve it.
Eyes, eyes baby... Take care those eyes, eyes baby....
Yo, let's get out of here.
Word to your ophthalmologist.


Nilla said...

This was awesome! Very very cool :).

Mitchell3 said...

I love your amazing talent Jennette. I especially like the part about the stye cuz I had one and I wanna share this with a friend who just had her stye worked on. She'll crack up. Keep whipping those up. Hilarious.

Rachel said...

You've got a gift that you need to share with the world.